August 2, 2014

thBy Terence T. Gorski,

“By our silence we let others define us.” ~ Susan Rook

To stay silent when you have something important to say is to disempower yourself and empower those with differing views. The fear of speaking your truth is often a sign of one of two things:

(1) You have the mistaken belief that you have nothing of value to say; or
(2) You are afraid to speak because of fear of being wrong, humiliated, feeling guilty or ashamed, or being harmed.

Learning to break your self-imposed silence becomes a matter of:

1. Building your self-worth through study and dialogue with intelligent people;
2. Building your courage by practicing speaking about your “small truths” to people whoa can’t hurt you, and working your way up to speaking your “big truths” to powerful people who are capable of hurting you.

‘Learning to speak your personal truth without fear takes time. It
is part of the process of maturing. This always takes both age and long-term sobriety.’
~ Terence T. Gorski




November 29, 2013

By Terence T. Gorski
November 29, 2013 (Update, December 1, 2013) 


Trust can only exist among people. Untrustworthy people hide behind organizations and governments to avoid responsibility for their personal dishonesty.No organization can be trusted. Only the people in the organization can.

Trust must be earned, maintained, and constantly repaired. Trust is not a one time deal. It is a way of life reflecting inner character. Ultimately, trust is based upon the ability to accurately predict what another person is going to do and how they are going to respond in close personal relationships. Inconsistency in important life areas, both support during positive life events and help during rough spots and road bumps in life make people hesitate to trust. If I am not sure how a person will respond, I am not willing to rely too heavily upon him or her.

Trust builds to rigorous honesty –but slowly, step-by-step, over-time. Only a fool trusts and makes themselves vulnerable with people who have not stood the test of time.

Mistakes don’t violate trust. We are fallible human beings. We all make mistakes. We accidentally hurt each other. We can heal and trust can be repaired by making amends.

Deceit that is conscious, deliberate, and repeated is a trust killer. We can forgive, but once betrayed only a fool goes back for more. It is like the Charlie Brown, Lucy, and the football story. Charlie Brown is acting the fool in a psychopaths game. His blind trust in the face of a history of past deceit is just plain dumb.

I DON’T DO OR ENABLE STUPID ANY MORE. No sober and responsible person should.

Reach out a helping hand, but don’t let a one-day sober crack addict live in your house or baby-sit your kids.

Don’t expect people you have lied to, stolen from, and abused to trust you instantly because you are clean and sober for a week. The fact that you expect them to is proof your judgment is so impaired that you can’t be trusted.

“I trust in God. I also lock my car.” ~ KC Hollmer, Navy SEAL, Retired



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