By Terence T. Gorski, Author
Updated: January 9, 2014
SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION
TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM.
THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER SOLUTION!
Straight Talk About Suicide – The book by Terence T. Gorski
Over my life I have seen too many people fall into the black pit of depression and kill themselves. I have never spoken out about this problem and offered hope and helpful tools for people who are depressed and thinking of ending their lives. This book is my small attempt to save the lives of people who feel they have no out of their pain and problems except death at their own hand. The primary and powerful message I want to deliver is that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. People who are depressed and suicidal focus upon their pain and problems and develop the mistaken belief that this will never end. They lose touch with the primary principle for keep hope in recovery even during our darkest hours. This principle is captured in the slogan” This too will pass!
In a creative moment I captured my thoughts in a simple one line affirmation: Life will be new again if I have the strength to reach for beauty and the spirit to pay its price! I have found this to be true even in my darkest hours living in the black pit of depression. Somehow I always found what I found the courage, strength and hope I needed to climb out of the pit. This has always happened even though I did nt believe in the moment that I would ever feel good or get t the other side of my problems again.
People will want to read this book for one of three reasons: You are a therapist who works with people who have suicidal tendencies; you are a person who knows or loves someone who is currently thinking of suicide, has attempted in the past, or has actually committed suicide; or you yourself are considering suicide as a possible alternative to end your pain and solve your problems. The common bond between all three groups of readers is that you have been or are currently being affected by the problem of suicide and you desire to learn more about it.
I struggled when planning to write this book. Which of these three audiences should I primarily address? As I did internet and library research and talked with therapist who specialize in treating suicidal people and their families, one thing became clear. There are many books written for therapists. These tend to be clinical and are often difficult to read, especially for recovering people and their families. To be quit honest, even though many of these books contain important information and counseling approaches to restoring hope in people who are suicidal and those who love them, most of them are written is a dry professional style that makes them tedious and difficult to read.
These books often fail to give practical information that a suicidal person or the friends or families of suicidal people could use to understand what is happening and what they can do to help the suicidal person to choose life over death.
Suicide – killing yourself by your own hand – is not a pleasant subject to think or talk about. As a result most people don’t. If you know someone who is showing the warning signs of suicide, it’s difficult to believe that they might actually try to kill themselves. Even if someone tells you that they are suicidal and asks for help, most people don’t know what to say or what to do. They fear calling a mental health center or psychiatrist for fear they will be “locked up in a psycho ward,” or “zonked out on medication,” only to be sent home just to become suicidal again a few days or weeks later.
Mental health professionals, including psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, and professional counselors know what to say and do. The problem is that they rarely get a chance to say and do what will help because the suicidal person is rarely referred to them unless they are caught in the act of attempting suicide or have tried to kill themselves and failed. Mental health professionals can be of great help to these people. But what about those people who have actually killed themselves? Here’s the sad truth – people who succeed in killing themselves are dead – end of story. There isn’t much anyone can do for them except arrange the funeral. The real task is trying to deal with the psychological and social aftermath to family, friends, and the community as a whole.
Suicide is never a private act. It always has a devastating effect on family, friends, & the community.
As I talked with professionals, family members, and people who had previously attempted suicide several things became clear.
First, most professionals already know or have access to information about how to prevent suicide and manage the people who have survived suicide attempts.
Second, most people on the brink of suicide are unlikely to pick up a book about suicide, start reading it and have a blinding flash of truth leap out at them that changes their minds. I know this happens sometimes, but it usually happens in the early stages of the suicide process.
If, however, you are suicidal, and reading this book – you owe it to yourself to read on. As the title says – I’m going to use Straight Talk About Suicide. This straight talk is written in easy-to-understand language that gives specific information, ways of thinking, and things you can do to back away from the brink of suicide and start learning to manage your pain and solve your problems. As a result, I will periodically address the readers who or considering suicide in the hope of giving them some inspiration, encouragement, or hope for the future that could change their mind and encourage them to choose life, no matter how painful it is at the moment, over a self-inflicted death.
For those of you who have attempted suicide and survived, this book can help you to understand what drove you to attempt to kill yourself and maybe even give you some insight into why you failed and why it is very bad idea to try it again.
I am also going to write to those of you who suspect that someone you know or love may be suicidal. If you know someone who is suicidal, your gut usually tells you they are seriously depressed, but your brain just can’t get believe they could be thinking about killing themselves. Even if you believe it, you probably don’t understand what is happening or know what to say or do that will be helpful. By the time you finish this book you will understand the suicidal process and have definite ideas about what you can say and do to help the person move back from the verge of suicide and get help.
So I decided to write this book primarily to those who know people who may be suicidal and to people who are suicidal and looking for a source of strength, hope, and help. I wrote as if I were talking directly to someone I knew and loved who was thinking about committing suicide or knew someone who was and wanted to help. As a result I have made this book as easy to read as possible. I’ve avoided professional jargon whenever possible and tried to explain complex ideas in easy to understand words.
I have done my best to make the book both intelligent and factual. I have not pulled any punches. I have written, to the best of my current knowledge, the honest truth about suicide that people need to know. This information can help you to empower people to move back from the brink of suicide and seek help. If you are suicidal, this book may give you the information, hope, and strength to back away from the brink of a self-imposed death.
As I said, suicide is not a pretty subject. Talking honestly about it may upset some people, but so be it! Sometimes being upset by the truth is the very thing that will keep you alive. It is better to be upset than settling for comfortable platitudes based upon wrong thinking that can kill you. I’d rather deal with someone who is upset and alive. It’s possible to help that person. There isn’t much help you can give someone who is dead.
Please get this book and learn how to be part of e solution. Spend a couple of hours, which is all it will take to read this book, having an uplifting and inspiring exploration of suicide that actual shows that there is hope. There is a way out. Remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Let’s look at the problem of suicide, learn how to back away from, the brink of the abyss of self-inflicted death, and once again feel good about searching for the meaning and purpose of our lives.
Straight Talk About Suicide
By Terence T. Gorski
TIP 50: Suicide and Substance Use Disorders