People and Defining Ourselves

September 8, 2014


By Terence T. Gorski , author
September 8, 2014

People pass in and out of our lives. Some touch us and others are distance shadows. Some touch us gently and with love. The touch of others is harsh and painful, perhaps even cruel and brutal.

Some people pass through our lives quickly and are suddenly gone. Others stay for a long while.

Some people leave us when we need them most. We can also leave others when they need us most. Fortunately, ther are many time we are there for each other at just the right moments when we need them most.

Every one of these people influence us. It makes no difference how they come into our lives, how long they stay, or the way we touch each other while we are together. It matters little how or why they move in and out of our lives. It just matters that they show up, are there for awhile, and then move on They they influence us — that is what counts.

They shape us in ways both subtle and profound. Even the distant shadows of those we never meet ice as specters at the edge of our consciousness.

There is one thing, however, that they cannot do — they cannot define us. Whether we know it or not we all define ourselves. We do this by choosing what we believe about those who pass through our lives — and more importantly what we choose to believe about our selves.

That choice is ours, but only a precious few of us know and believe that we have this incredible power. The rest of us live the big lie that we are victims of a world too big and complicated to understand and of other people who are too strong, or smart, or important to stand against.

The truth is tat even in victory, we can decide that we are victims; and even in the midst of our greatest of defeats we can decide we are are survivors, or heroes, or even winners.

In the end the choice is ours — and the way we define ourselves may be the most important choice we ever make.

In the end we will all stand alone gazing into the sunset of our lives contemplating the story we have written by the choices that we made. Hopefully we will have grown to the pony where we see that it is what it is; we did what we did; and somehow it is all OK.


Defining Ourselves — Selected Quotes by Terry Gorski

April 16, 2012

Defining Ourselves

Get Credits for reading Gorski’s Books: www,

On Being Sentient

“As a sentient being I can grow beyond my original programming!  Therefore, I can choose who I am what I am to become!” — Data, Star Trek – The Next Generation

Knowledge of Self IS Power

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering of others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich.” — Tao Te Ching Repeating the Past

If you don’t have a vision for the future, then your future is threatened to be a repeat of the past. – A. R. Bernard

If you don’t know history you are condemned to repeat it. — Unkown

We Are Not Defined By Our Past

We are fallible human beings.  We all make mistakes.  Our mistakes, as painful as they may be, teach us vital lessons about who we are.  Learn from your mistakes – don’t define yourself by them!” — Terry Gorski

Finding the Quit Voice Within

We all are programmed to have strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, preferences and prejudices.  Somewhere within this complex mix lies that one aspect of self that makes us uniquely who we are.  We are led to it by a small quiet voice within.  We learn about our uniqueness through trial and error.  We learn from the consequences of our decisions and actions.

Growing Beyond Our Programming

“From the moment we are conceived we are programmed with strengths and weakness that are at once a unity of the biological, psychological, social, cultural and spiritual conditioning.  There is also the quiet voice of The Great I Am urging us to grow beyond what we have been programmed to do and to be.  We are all created to grow beyond our original programming.  It is what makes us human

The Unique “I Am!”

All of us are unique individuals. We share common characteristics with other people, but each of us was born with special strengths and attributes that are uniquely our own.  We don’t automatically know what defines us.  We must judge in deep reflection what comes naturally to us, what we do well, and what feeds our soul.  Then we must let our life experiences be our guide. — Terry Gorski

On Being an Original

You’ve got to be original, because if you’re like someone else, what do they need you for? — Donna Lynn DeLuca

What this means to me is that to be original” we must learn to dig deep beneath our cultural programming and discover who we really are – discover our true self and our true mission in life!

What Lies Within

What lies behind us and what lies before is of little concern compared to what lies within us.  — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A friend walks with you as the world walks by! — KC Hollmer

We All Have A Destiny

Some call it a vocation or calling.  Others call it a destiny or a God-given gift.  Other simply know in their heart that it is what they were created to do and to be!.” — Terry Gorski

The Measure of a Person

”The measure of a man is not determined by his show of outward strength, or in the volume of his voice, or the thunder in his actions. It is to be seen, rather, in the terms of the nature and depth of his commitments, the genuineness of his friendships, the sincerity of his purpose, the quiet courage of his convictions, his capacity to suffer, and his willingness to continue to grow up.” — Grady Poulard

The Measure of a Life:

“I can’t claim to understand the measure of a life, but I can tell you this:  It has something to do with the willingness to defy unjust authority and to feel good about it! I know this because when my 81-year-old mentor died, his eyes were closed and his heart was open.  I’m pretty sure he was happy with his final resting place because he was buried on the mountain where he lived all his life, even though he knew before he died that to be buried there was against the law.” — Unknown

Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness has two components(1) just being present and knowing clearly what is happening, and (2) intuitively responding to our experience in a skillful way. Before we do anything, we need to be aware of what is really going on, not just react to stimuli in an unconscious way. ~~Kevin Griffin


Integrity means doing what is right, even when it isn’t popular. Popularity allows you to live with others, but integrity lets you live with yourself.  – Rosemary Bossi

The Power of One

“One person can make a difference!  Every person should try!” — John F. Kennedy

Writing and the Sense of Self

“It is better to write for the self and have no public
Than to write for the public and have no self.
It is better still to write for the public
In a way that enhances and strengthens your sense of self.” — Terry Gorski

What Defines Me as A Person

There are three major things that define me as a person:

(1)  My ability to take complex and abstract ideas and explain them in plain English with a simple series of practical ways that people can use to apply these ideas to their lives.

(2)  My ability to survive, persist and learn to manage anything that life throws at me (even if I don’t like it, in the moment I don’t believe I can do it, and I experience many temporary setbacks on my ways to figuring it out).

(3)  My undying faith that I was born for a reason and a quiet spiritual voice within will show me that purpose if a learn to be turn over control, quiet my mind, listen to the voice, and follow directions to the best of my ability.

Pride & Character

Pride is to character like the attic is to the house – it is the highest part, and generally the most empty — John G

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