Spirituality & Relapse

By Terence T. Gorski
Author, The Books of Terence T. Gorski )
May 6, 2001 (Last Revised: 2015-01-19

Defining Spirituality

There is a relationship between spirituality and relapse. To understand it, we must first define spirituality.

Father Joseph Martin repeated many times that the easiest way to start grappling with the issue of spirituality is to go back to the ancient Greeks who put it this way: human beings have both a physical characteristics that observable directly observable andradite able in the physical world the world, and nonphysical characteristics that cannot be directly seen and measured in the physical world. These nonphysical characteristics of human beings they called spiritual. Let’s dig into this way of thinking a little bit more deeply.

People have both:
– Physical characteristics, determined by the structure and actions of their bodies, and

– Non-physical characteristics, determined by the structure and actions of their minds. These non-physical characteristics are called spiritual and include the ability to perceive, think, feel, act, assign meaning and purpose to life, and gives us the ability to conceptualize and seek out God, or at least the God of our understanding.

I believe in God. My limited human mind cannot fully comprehend of look upon the face of God. Words cannot adequately define God. Yet, I for one keep trying to capture my sense of God in words to share with others.

Human beings beings have the ability to seek after God because we are sentient, in other words we have the ability think and feel, AND we are conscious of the fact that we can do so.

The capacity for self-awareness or sentience gives each of us the ability to be consciousness or aware that we exit as separate beings. This self awareness causes each individual to develop a core personal identity that moves beyond physical existence into a complex world of ideas and images.

This personal consciousness drives people to find meaning and purpose in human existence.

This desire for a sense of individual meaning that transcends the physical has led many recovering people to a search for the spiritual laws which they should follow to live a sober, responsible, and meaningful life.

In essence, people trying to live the spiritual life are striving to find organizing principles of the non-physical dimension of human existence. They are seeking to find the spiritual principles and practices that can give the the ability to live a sober and responsible life in a difficult world.

People on the spiritual quest seem to believe that human existence is ruled by laws, or organizing principles.

The physical world is governed by physical laws.

The non-physical/spiritual world is governed by mental and spiritual laws.

The belief is that finding and then living in accordance with these universal spiritual laws will help them to:

– Find peace and serenity in life.
– Discover a sense of meaning and purpose in their sobriety.
– Find source of courage, strength, and hope that get get them through even the toughest of times.

They also believe that people who violate these universal principles, either through ignorance or intent, will experience inner pain, turmoil, and frustration. They will become disillusioned in recovery and many will relapse to chemical use to medicate the pain.

With that in mind, let’s explore in more depth the characteristics distinctions between mystical and no mystical spirituality.

Mystical & Non-mystical Spirituality

There are two different ways of thinking about human spirituality. Mystical spirituality is based upon the belief that there is a spiritual world inhabited by a Higher Power or God. The meaning and purpose of life, according to mystical spirituality, can only be found through a conscious relationship with this spiritual Higher Power who reveals information not available through our ordinary senses or intelligence. The ultimate goal of mystical spirituality, therefore, is to establish a personal relationship with God, and to seek knowledge of his will and the courage to carry that out.

Non-mystical spirituality recognizes that human beings exist not only in the physical world, but also in a unique world of ideas, thoughts, feelings, and fantasies that transcends physical limitations. In this sense the word spiritual can be used interchangeably with the word psychological. Non-mystical spirituality, like psychology, is directed at learning to effectively use human mental powers to find meaning and purpose in life. The spiritual life is based upon developing these mental and emotional abilities. Non-mystical spirituality, however, believes that human beings can discover basic spiritual truths thorough the use of their senses and intellect. They do not rely upon divine revelation, but look to human reason to find the answers to sobriety.

Mystical and non-mystical spirituality are not mutually exclusive. Many recovering people have a mixed spiritual system. In the mystical sense, they seek to develop a personal relationship with the God of their understanding and pray to discover what God’s will is for them. In a non-mystical sense, they actively work at psychological growth. They believe this mixture of the mystical and non-mystical captures the principle of “turning it over, but doing the leg work”. Mystical spirituality allows them to turn over some aspects of their human experience to the care of a Higher Power. Non-mystical spirituality allows them to “do the leg work” by taking responsibility for personal growth and change.

Relapse & The Extremes of Mystical Spirituality

Extreme and rigid views of spirituality can result in relapse. Many people relapse because they believe that the mystical god of their understanding will somehow magically save them from their problems. They abdicate personal responsibility and expect God to take care of everything. When God doesn’t, they sink into a deep existential depression and say, “Since God won’t fix my life, I might as well get drunk.”

An example of this is the man who turned $60,000 worth of debt incurred from his cocaine addiction over to his higher power. He was absolutely shocked when his higher power turned his debts over to a collection agency.

Another man, who was divorced shortly after getting sober, looked to God to clean up his apartment. He was disappointed when God wouldn’t do it. Upon spiritual reflection the man concluded that since God wouldn’t clean his apartment, it must be God’s will for him to live in the mess. Shortly afterwards he got drunk.

Relapse & The Extremes of Non-mystical Spirituality

Other people relapse because they cannot find a higher power to believe in. Some of these people are overwhelmed with such intense shame and guilt that they can’t believe God or any other higher power is available to them. Others are locked into grandiosity. They see themselves as bigger, strong, and smarter than anyone or anything else in the universe. When they encounter overwhelming problems they feel cut off from all sources of courage strength and hope. They often become disillusioned and relapse to chemical use.

Most people who succeed in recovery have organized their sobriety around a source of meaning and purpose that is greater than themselves. Most practice the mixed system of spirituality described in the serenity prayer. The Serenity Prayer is “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can, God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.

People who live in accordance with these spiritual principles recognize that there are things that they can and must change if they are to stay sober, and they seek the courage to make those changes. They also recognize that there are other things that are beyond their control. They turn these things over to a Higher Power. They have faith that there is someone or something bigger, stronger and more powerful than they that will take care of the things that they can’t manage. As a result, they can comfortably let go of the things that they cannot manage and invest their energies in taking care of things that are within their power.

Recovery & A Balanced Sense Of Spirituality

People who stay sober are able to transform themselves by surrendering their narrow, addictive world view and embracing a broader and more effective sobriety-based world view. This transformation is a spiritual process, though not necessarily a mystical one. It is a consciousness expanding experience that requires a belief that there is someone or something more powerful than I am. It requires a willingness to believe in a seek out that source of power, to ask for help, and ultimately to follow directions.

Recovering people need to find a source of courage and strength that can overcome frustration, transform despair into hope, and motivate them to move ahead in the sober life. Some recovering people find this in a mystical higher power that many call God. Others find it in the mysterious power present in their group conscience. Still others find it in a higher value system that replaces addictive thinking with rationality and reason.

People who maintain sobriety learn that they are responsible for themselves. They internalize the AA principle of “easy does it, but do it.” They realize that they need to identify the next little thing they have to do to stay sober, and do it. In essence, they realize that they are responsible for whether or not they take the next drink or the next drug. They recognize that they must learn how to look within themselves and find the source of courage, strength, and hope needed to stay sober. Ultimately, they are responsible for rebuilding their lives and finding meaning and purpose in sobriety.

The Spiritual Paradox of Recovery

This is the paradox of recovery. We cannot do it alone, but yet we must do it by ourselves. We cannot expect God or a higher power to do what we are able to do for ourselves, but yet we cannot do it for ourselves without somehow touching a source of courage and strength that exceeds our own abilities. And here seems to be the ultimate spiritual principle that allows alcoholics to avoid relapse and move ahead in recovery. It is a philosophy of balance. It is the ability to recognize and affirm the quality of physical existence, to learn how the physical world operates and operate within the limits of its laws and imperatives. It is also the willingness to affirm the world of ideas, thoughts, and images. It is the ability to learn to turn within and find a creative spark of life, a creative spiritual energy that will allow us to go on and find solutions when none seem available. The balance of these two worlds, the world of physical reality, and the world of ideas where the ultimate spiritual reality exists, allow people to forge a strong and powerful sobriety.

An After-Thought

After reading and rereading this article on spirituality I realize that many of the ideas are not as clear and concrete as I would like them to be. At best this must be considered a work in progress.

Considering that I have been drafting and redrafting this description of spirituality for over forty years, I doubt that I will get it right in the few years I have left.

I am just sharing this and hope some parts of it will be helpful to some people who read it.

Spirituality is a complex area and we don’t have a shared language to describe it.

Spirituality is also an experience that cannot be fully conveyed in language.

When we have a spiritual experience we know it, but when we try to explain what we experienced, the words often fail us.

So the above article on spirituality is my failure to adequately convey my experience of the spiritual in words.

The Books of Terence T. Gorski

4 Responses to Spirituality & Relapse

  1. jacob vang jacobsen says:

    Thank you for this “very true and informative. It gives me a good reason for thought …. since I have taken relapse over 100 times the last 15 years.

  2. Toni Davey says:

    Beautiful. While science and medical technologies can explain how our brain chemistry and cells work in concert, there is still an unexplainable uniqueness to each individual’s personal thoughts, feelings, imagination, values etc. Why do I favor blue while you favor green? I like your explanation of the 2 types of spirituality. Much food for thought and I’m sure many will argue the ways you have defined it. But in my life it has been effective. I reasonably and consciously deal with the things I have control over, and go out the things I can’t. And I know (trust) that a higher power will sort out the rest. Love your writing, especially your book Staying Sober

  3. Toni Davey says:

    Oops…Meant ‘ let go of’

Leave a Reply to Toni Davey Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: