By Terence T. Gorski

People, regardless of gender, tend to hear what they want to hear. This tendency leads to many conflicts and a great deal of miscommunication.

Solving the problem begins with an honest self-exploration of our own willingness and ability to seek first to understand what others are saying before we seek to be understood.

Listen carefully and with your full attention. Check to make sure you have correctly understood by repeating what you heard and asking if you got it right.

Think before you speak. Be sure you have something worthwhile to say. Then say it clearly, calmly, compassionately, and with conviction.

Yelling makes you seem foolish even if you are right. People seem foolish when they are right at the top of their lungs. Breath deeply and become calm and centered when discussing important issues.

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” ~ Stephen Covey

If you want other people to take you seriously, you need to make others feel that they are listened to, understood, and taken seriously. This lead them to trust you and this increases the possibility that they will listen to, understand and take you seriously. Communication that starts with active empathetic listening skills tend to build a cycle of progressive openness and trust the deepens the process of feeling connected to others in recovery.

Trust is the foundation of all honest communication. To gain the trust of others we must me trustworthy within ourselves. Trust is built slowly, step-by-step by shared progressive self-disclosure.



One Response to Listening

  1. Yes this is good because sometimes even those who are suppose to listen don’t. I no longer see a therapist because he had no idea what I said and it wasn’t his POV. I don’t miss him. It’s just one less place I have to try to be on time.
    Sometimes I repeat what I hear to see if I’ve got it right. I was accused of being a parrot.
    Thank you Terrance
    Good image
    barb mann

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