Top 10 Reasons I Can’t Spell

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My spelling is terrible. Here are my
top ten reasons why:

1. I am impatient and have impulse control disorders that force me to push the return key too soon.

2. I have ADD and cannot keep focused on reading something two or three times.

3. My spell checker is broken and my grammar checker is stuck in “rap” mode (my bad).

5. I must challenge authority so I don’t agree with Mr. Webster (Who the hell does he think he is criticizing my spelling. Maybe he got it wrong!)

6. I have low self-esteem and I must find some way to make myself look as stupid as I subconsciously think that I am.

7. The Nuns were really bad teachers in grammar school.

8. I shouldn’t have to bother with little things like spelling.

9. I get so depressed when people criticize me for spelling bad that I just don’t have the energy to try to spell better.

10. The reptilian space aliens are using my bad spelling to slowly change the English language.

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