When we care and become committed to other people we connect with them in a real but not physical way. As a result we feel for them, feel with them, and have an emotional commitment to their well being. As a result, it is difficult to be objective, set boundaries, and set appropriate limits. We are vulnerable to manipulation. Only honest communication with close friends who know us well can help us to keep a realistic perspective.
The fear of telling the truth to close trusted friends about those we love is a warning sign that something is wrong.
How to set and keep healthy boundaries is explained in the book:
Getting Love Right, a five star rating at Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0671864157